An Ode to the English Plural


We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and there would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.


Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,

But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!


(author unknown)

CLEVER ANAGRAMS

PRESBYTERIAN: 

When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER 

ASTRONOMER: 
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER 

DESPERATION:   
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT 

THE EYES:  
When you rearrange the letters: 
THEY SEE 

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters: 
HE BUGS GORE  

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters: 
HERE COME DOTS 
  
DORMITORY: 
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM 

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters: 
CASH LOST IN ME 

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY  

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters: 
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT 

SNOOZE ALARMS: 
When you rearrange the letters: 
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S 

A DECIMAL POINT: 
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE 

THE EARTHQUAKES: 
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE 

ELEVEN PLUS TWO: 
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE 

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters: 
WOMAN HITLER
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